“What a slut time is. She screws everybody.”
Tagged: slut time period badass Strong humor
“Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know.”
Tagged: Confidence Feeling humor
“I’ve gotten really hot since you went blind.”
Tagged: Blind Blindness humor joke Change
“I am tired of myself to-night. I should like to be somebody else.”
Tagged: self tired of self self awareness humor
“This is a Tale about a tail — a tail that belonged to a little red squirrel, and his name was Nutkin.”
Tagged: character description humor
“Once upon a time there was a serious, well-behaved young black cat. It belonged to a kind old lady who assured me that no other cat could compare with Kitty . . . She called it 'Kitty,' but Kitty called herself 'Miss Catherine St Quintin.”
Tagged: character description Imagination humor
“Don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden: your father had an accident there; he was put in a pie by Mrs. McGregor.”
Tagged: Warning accident humor
“Saw Oscar Wilde and his wife just going into the Fine Arts to see the Holman Hunt. He is not peculiar as far as I noticed, rather a fine looking gentleman, but inclined to stoutness. The lady was strangely dressed, but I did not know her in time to see well.”
Tagged: description character humor
“It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is 'soporific.' I have never felt sleepy after eating lettuces; but then I am not a rabbit.”
Tagged: eating Sleepy drowsy relac effects humor Peter Rabbit charcter
“Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?”
Tagged: comedy humor gay Jewish Outsiders
“Don’t wish me happiness — I don’t expect to be happy all the time; it’s gotten beyond that somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor — I will need them all.”
Tagged: Wish Courage strength humor
“Nobody enjoys the company of a person who hasn’t washed their stinky soul.”
Tagged: Self-improvement humor Quote of the Moment
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
Tagged: mission goal Survival Passion Compassion humor
“The one charm of the past is that it is the past.”
Tagged: Past Memories Past Days humor
“A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"”
Tagged: Married Couple humor
