80+ Killers Quotes
Published on 2020-10-28 18:13:30 Category：Best Quotes
1. My mother, who has long since passed away, had not control over me. I was like a wild and destructive animal. My father had to pin me to the floor until these attacks stopped.
2. Now I was age 22 and this evil force was still reaching out to me. Everywhere I went there seemed to be a sign or a symbol pointing me to Satan. I felt as if something were trying to take control of my life. I began to read The Satanic Bible by the late Anton Lavey who founded the Church of Satan in San Francisco in 1966. I began, innocently, to practice various occult rituals and incantations.
3. Sheriff Ruiz: Every job has a patron saint. Cops have Saint Jude, doctors have Raphael the Archangel. But if you're a drug dealer or a killer, who do you pray to? Jennifer Jareau: The saint of death.
4. Hello, bitch. I’m sure you’re wondering why you’ve been kidnapped and what’s going to happen to you. That’s why this tape has been made. It saves a lot of talking. It’s brief, blunt, and to the point. I’m a dungeon master for a local chapter of the Church of Satan, Lucifer, or the Devil to you. You have been abducted so that your body can be used during rituals, and for sexual purposes for the congregation after the meetings. Our membership is pretty small, about twenty people, mixed male and female. Our meetings are pretty much what most people imagine—the way it is depicted in the movies. A hidden church, black robes, pentagrams, rituals, chanting, a lot of nakedness, animal sacrifices, chicken blood, and a hell of a lot of sex afterward! The meetings get interesting and exciting, to say the least. Trying to raise the demons is important, but it is the sex that keeps the church financially afloat. The high priest likes to keep everybody fired up on sex, and for that, we like fresh meat. Every couple of months we kidnap some good-looking little bitch to use during the rituals and to be kept available for everyone to use during the orgy. Let me tell you what happens at the meetings. The orgy room is separate from the main church. It contains several couches, many mats on the floor, and a refreshment center. In the middle of the room is a large wooden table with leather straps on it. Prior to each meeting, you’ll be taken to the church in a wooden box, naked, in chains and with your eyes taped shut so you can’t identify anybody. Once there, you will be strapped down on top of the table. Your arms will be chained straight out to each side and leather straps will be buckled across your upper chest, your rib cage and your belly—so you can’t move. Your legs will be spread extremely wide apart because some of our members have diversified interests in, ah…which hole they want to use. There is a U-shaped cutout at the top of the table and it allows your head to drop right down into. it. Another leather strap will be put across your forehead so you can’t move, allowing your mouth and throat to be available for sex. Dental jaw blocks will be installed in your mouth so that you can’t bite anybody during oral sex. When your mouth is wide open, members will just shove their dicks down your throat and hump your face until they cum. After the meeting is over in the church, everyone will move into the orgy room, take their robes off [laughs]. Now everybody is fucking naked! And they’ll surround the table. You’re definitely going to be the center of attention, especially at the first meeting when you’re the new girl. Everybody is going to want to feel you up and try you out. Anyway, the high priest will move to the bottom of the table with a large wooden box that contains the dildo—what we call the Devil’s dick. The tip is small, so it’ll start in the vagina easy but the thing is tapered. It widens enormously at the base to about three inches this, and the whole thing is pretty close to twelve inches long. It’s a real pussy-stretcher. Once it starts to go in, the high priest will chant: The Devil fucks! The Devil fucks! The Devil fucks! A half a dozen people will help hold your body still while the high priest forces the dick up all the way inside you There will be a sudden blast of pain between your legs and it’s not unusual at all for a girl to pass out while this is being done. Next the high priest will rape you. After he gets through, your body will be available for everybody’s use. They’ll take turns using you in various ways, and during the course of the evening, most of them will come back for seconds and thirds. You’ll probably be raped forty to fifty times. The next morning, after everybody goes home, I’ll take you back up to the dungeon, wash the sperm out of your body, and clean you up. I’ll get you a bath and let your build your strength up so we can do it all over again [laughs]. You’re gonna be used for three or four meetings. By then, a captive is pretty well worn out and everybody’s tired of fucking with her. Remember, your body is property of the Church of Satan. The church is going to have you one night every two weeks and I’ve got you the rest of the time. Now, the dungeon belongs to the church, and it’s very well equipped. They spent a ton of money buying all sorts of specialized equipment about anything I asked for. They even gave me medical supplies to patch up girls in case the high priest tears some slut’s pussy with a bit dildo, and that doesn’t happen too often. One of my duties is to pre-stretch a girl’s vagina so the dildo won’t tear it. There have been a few occasions when we’ve kidnapped a birch and had to take her to a meeting that same evening. Usually when that happens, the Devil’s dick tears the fuck out of her vagina. Then I have to patch her up afterward. A few years ago, there was a certain period of time that we didn’t do that. During that time there were instances where the fellows caused so much vaginal damage that the girl hemorrhaged and sometimes didn’t survive. And it caused problems within the congregation. Nobody likes watching a girl bleed to death. Well, now you know what this is all about. You’re not exactly a sacrificial virgin. I don’t imagine you’re a virgin anyway. During the years that I’ve bene dungeon mater, for variety we sometimes snatch some pretty young girls…thirteen, fourteen years old, and even with that, we’ve only had two virgins. Well, so much for that, but know now how you’re going to serve the church. Now let’s talk about how you’re going to serve me. It is within my power to make your stay in the dungeon reasonably easy or a living hell. There are going to be some rules, and whether you like them or not, you will learn to obey them. You’re going to find that I don’t have any patience at all with pretty little girls that forget and make mistakes. Crying is acceptable, so long as you’re not too loud about it. Most of the time I expect you to keep your mouth shut. You need to tell me, however, when you have to use the restroom, because if you make a mess, whether it be a piss or a crap, you’re going to be forced to lick it up. Don’t bite. There are no second chances. If you bite, I cut. As far as kicking goes, I really don’t have a set punishment for that. If you should hurt me with your feet, the punishment will be whatever I decide. That’s not fair, but that’s life. When the church is done with you, the high priest will advise me when you are to be released and I will initiate a process that will take about two days. You’re going to be injected with a combination of drugs and then brainwashed until you don’t remember the church, me, this place, or any fucking thing that’s happened to you. After the hypnosis has taken effect, you’ll be taken near some town and turned loose. Everything will heal in up to two or three weeks. It will probably take just a little longer for your vagina to shrink back to normal size, but, ah [laughs]…that, too will come to pass. Now this is the beginning of a very trying ordeal for you. This experience is going to be very traumatic. The nights when you are taken to the church are going to be the worst by far. Each time you are going to experience about ten hours of pure hell. Satan is a harsh taskmaster.
5. I even went so far as planning on setting up an altar with 10 different skulls and skeletons. It was my way of remembering their appearance, their physical beauty. I also wanted to keep...if I couldn't keep them there with me whole, I at least could keep their skeletons.
6. I have interviewed hundreds of killers. All types of crazy motives for doing what they did. They all share one thing in common, all of them: it's in their eyes!
7. It was due to business.
8. And that just happened to be the week when no one was home Mom was off With David, and they had put up at a mote1 about five miles away; and I had the car, above five o'clock at night; and I was driving back home, after drinking; and I wasn't looking for anyone but, about a mile away from the house, there he was. Hitchhiking along the road. He wasn't wearing a shirt. He was attractive; I was attracted to him. I stopped then passed him and stopped the car and thought, ‘Well, should I pick him up or not?’ And I asked him if he wanted to go back and smoke some pot, and he said, ‘Oh, yeah.’ And we went into my bedroom, had some beer, and from the time I spent with him I could tell he wasn't gay. I, uh, didn't know how else to keep him there other than to get the barbell and to hit him, over the head, which I did, then strangled him with the same barbell.
9. I killed my mother and her friend. And I killed those college girls. I killed six of them and I can show you where I hid the pieces of their bodies.
10. High hopes, low expectations. That's what my step dad always says. Then again, he's an unemployed alcoholic who named his dog after a psychopath.
11. Hey, death row’s great—death row’s a fucking blast. I get cable t.v., I get phone access any time I want, I get to paint, I get all these privileges and nobody fucks with me. On the other hand, the general population [of the prison], that’s for fools and animals. It’s a jungle out there, so you’re at the mercy of being killed at any moment for anything, and some people just have time to kill, they get petty.
12. The only thanks you and your kind will ever get from me for your efforts on my behalf is that I wish you all had one neck and that I had my hands on it.
13. I was so full of hate that there was no room in me for such feelings as love, pity, kindness or honor or decency, my only regret is that I wasn't born.
14. I don’t think it was actually the person that I was after, I think it was the dream. I know that’s not really nice to say about a person, but they were basically an object. They were just an object. That’s all they were. I had more satisfaction building up to it and afterwards than I did the actual killing of the person.
15. You think they want to talk about this shit? It's like if you worked at a slaughterhouse with livestock. Real conversation stopper.
16. Many detectives believe that the male, too, operates under a pseudo-menstrual cycle, that there are times when the perverse drives of marginally normal men become obsessive and they are driven out to rape or kill.
17. All of your police, judges, lawyers, wardens, doctors, National Crime Commissions and writers have combined to find out and remedy the cause and effect of crime. With all this knowledge and power at their command, they have accomplished nothing except to make conditions worse instead of better.
18. I was dumped into a cell without any medical attention or surgical attention whatever. My broken bones were not set. My ankles and legs were not put into a cast. The doctor never came near me and no one else was allowed to do anything for me. At the end of 14 months of constant agony, I was taken to the hospital where I was operated on for my rupture and one of my testicles were cut out….I suffered more agony for many months. Always in pain, never a civil answer from anyone, always a snarl or a curse or a lying, hypocritical promise which was never kept. Crawling around like a snake with a broken back, seething with hatred and a lust for revenge, five years of this kind of life. The last two years and four months confined in isolation with nothing to do except brood. I hated everybody I saw.
19. In this hole lives the Wicked King. Kill for my Master. I turn children into Killers.
20. Oh, God, y'all, two killers? We're not safe awake or asleep.
21. It all revolved around having complete control. Why or where it came from, I don't know.
22. It’s common to fantasize about something that you wouldn’t really put into practice.
23. If my father could kill people, then, I reasoned, anyone could be a killer.
24. Your Honor, Sedgwick County, victims.…The atrocious crimes I've committed has continued. Sedgwick County has a monster. I've brought the community, my family, the victims dishonor. There's no—it is all self-centered. It was what they call—I would call a sexual predator. Today is my final judgment for me. The last couple of days in court presented by the State, their PowerPoint presentation was very powerful. There are a couple of things I might point out toward the last, but overall most of that was true. And I think Sedgwick County ought to be proud that they do have a good state, that the evidence was there earlier, the DNA, the floppy. There was no way that I was going to get out of this. With remorse, responsibility, with corrections, concepts of apology, the old me started whatever it was, factor X, sexual predator. The volcano was the building of all these years was the Otero, and probably the most devastating, upsetting to everybody is Josephine. I just don't know. Self-centered, very selfish, and it exploded on that day. And it did continue off and on. Dishonesty, definitely. Dishonesty, probably the first thing to the people that I encountered, that they trusted me, that I was going to tie them up, take their money, and leave, and then I killed them. That's dishonesty to my family, that—I would lie and cheat to be self-interested. To my employers and to the county, the taxpayers' money. Ideal responsibility, yes, I had pride back then. To some degree I'm trying to drop down to that. But that's the media. I just seemed to crave the attention of the media. I think through the years that's quite present during the presentation and all the archives they had. You can understand that. The bottom line is of the old selfish, very disassociated with society, self-centered for my own purposes, and I take that full authority on my shoulders. The victims. I wrote some notes down. I don't know if this is really appropriate or not. And then these things came—a lot of these came out of the paper because I didn't—I knew the people, you all know why I chose them. But I thought I'd share some things. Kathleen Bright, and I hope I don't tread on the media, because I did use some of this from the media because I didn't know this much from the people. She spent time at her grandparents farm. Well, I did too as a kid. I have many, many, many fond memories of that, and I took that from her. She went to Valley Center. I was a Valley Center high schooler for two years there, walked the halls, probably the same line, shared maybe the same teachers, although they would have been older. She worked at Coleman, just like I did, trying to fill a job, as anybody would. Tried to keep, you know, our heads above water. And I took that from her. Dolores Davis. She loved animals and I worked in animal control. I realize that the early years I probably did have some cruelty to animals. But I don't think if anybody asks Park City or anything they would say I was—I was always pretty good to animals. I have a great fondness for animals. I have pets and I know she had. And I read somewhere she had her last Christmas with her family, and I did too. That was a wonderful time, but I took that from her. Nancy Fox, she was a wonderful person and I did—I did track her just like a predator. She was a wonderful young lady, well organized, hard worker. And I took her life. Marine Hedge. She was a neighbor, one I walked by and waved to, a gardener. I love to garden, flowers. She attended church, the same church I had been to with the Boy Scouts. Joseph Otero. He was in the Air Force. I was in the Air Force. He was a husband. I was a husband. Although I always wanted to be a pilot, I always had a fascination with aeronautics. He was a pilot. One time I even thought about taking pilot lessons. And a veteran, I was a veteran. So our threads are close. Julie Otero is a lot like my wife, a loving mother, raised kids, and she also worked at Coleman. Josephine. She would have been a lot like my daughter at that age. Played with her Barbie dolls. She liked to write poetry. I like to write poetry. She liked to draw. I like to draw. Someone mentioned that she was like peas in a pod. I think that probably comes from the Wichita Eagle Beacon wrote that down, give the credit to them. Joseph Otero, II. He was just like me at one time, a boy and a dog. Again, that comes from the Eagle. I have many, many, many—many memories of a dog. Excuse me. I had a lot of memories as a kid with my pets. A boy and a dog is a thing you have to have when you're a kid. Shirley, she was in the choir, mother, probably a very beloved mother, and I took her life. Probably out of all the people I didn't know Vicki Vian very much. Although I walked by her place and listened to the piano. I appreciate music. That's one of the things I always wanted to learn was piano, and I took her life. She was also a beloved mother. She attended a church that I went to once, St. Andrews. I hope I haven't left somebody out. I have to rebuild humility, basically humbled myself now. The detention center I'm going to, tried to realize—worked with the police department, worked with my defense. Tried to realize my faults, honesty. Again, I think I cooperated with the police as well. I—I understand there were some smoke blowing, and that was probably my demise. The afterlife is smoke. The thing about JT Allen is smoke. BTK story early, parts of it were smoke. The problem is I did—blew so much smoke that now nobody knows facts or fiction, and that's basically my demise. I have been very honest with my attorneys. They've worked very hard. And we met almost every day earlier, before the plea, somewhat less after that. But it's basically all over. And Steve encouraged me not to go with an early plea so he could do more. They did all the things they could with the floppy, had an expert come in, go over the floppy to see whether there was any problems with that. They did extensive research on the DNA. There is a sore spot with me when they took my daughter, but I understand in law enforcement you have to do certain things. And I think honesty, people will say I'm not a Christian, but I believe I am. So anyway, I faced up to the man himself now, my boss. I think that all points to accountability and full responsibility now. And my remorse, I think—I think it's here. And I know the victims' families won't ever be able to forgive me. I hope somewhere deep down eventually that will happen. When this happened, I was what I would say not total at one time. Part of me only the thoughts that compartmentalize. That is probably as the—the State started to show today was the compartmentalization of me. And that has been my biggest wreck back and forth. I'm not proud of that. It's just an escape mechanism, defense mechanism. I could switch back and forth fairly fast. I explained to the defense I was kind of like an 8-wheeler, either uphill or downhill I could switch gears very fast and rapidly, back and forth. And as I stand here in this humble way maybe people think I've done that and gone back to compartmentalize, but I don't think so. So anyway, it's given me the face to see today and not the things in the past, only remorse….I accept full responsibility. I'm going to a penal institution, full board, and I do not expect anything but the Hard 40 today. I expected that on the plea. That's why I stepped up to the plea. I knew after I talked to the police, the evidence, there wasn't any way I was really going to get out of this unless we found some way of—some evidence that was just totally out of it. And the trial would have been a long, drawn out, to the plea. There was no way that I was ever going to get out of this. I think the corrections, I'm away from society now. I'll do my healing process there as well as I can, start my new chapter in life. And I suppose in all good time, as everybody knows Rader has to complain a little bit. So I would like to do some minor ones. Not because I want to complain today, but I want to set the record. This is my last time. Probably the biggest problem I have right now, and we're still trying to answer is what happened to Mendoza. I had a trust with that person, the psychiatrist. The defense is working on it, I know other people are working on it. But that was a—I just don't know what happened, and maybe that will happen. Another one is the—and I—I'm just basically expressing this. I don't have control on it, but wish somebody would take heart to it is the lien on my house. That final victim, as Mr. Davis, said is my wife….She is my final victim, that and my family. She knew nothing about this, and yet the laws, as I understand it, is the lien went on the house because I have property. There's a lot of defendants that stand up here, don't have anything to go after. I know this is very expensive. Probably the defense is running somewhere 80, 90,000, just about what the house sold for. If we'd have gone to trial it would have been millions and years. So I just basically ask that whoever does that final judgment, that they think about my wife. The other one is, not a biggie, it's not this last issue, but I'd ask for my wallet so I could get some personal pictures out of it. I was hoping the defense would have a court order that before I leave today I could go through that wallet and take some family pictures. But that's not a big issue, because I understand through code of ethics the defense will turn that probably over to the family as well as my clothes. So those are really the only complaints. Except for PowerPoint. I don't—and again I don't want to pick on the law enforcement. They've done a very good job, but I do want to clarify a few things just for the records, because this is basically my final say. First of all, there was two actors that were brought out, the chain walk, or John Wayne and James Bond. The action of that with Kevin was the shooting, not because I stood up and shot him. It's because when I was working with the police, that was what I call a quick draw, just like that (indicating). That's what I call the John Wayne shot. It's not that he would do something like that. Secondly, we fought and for us to fight, he had to have both his hands open. The PowerPoint said that he basically stood up, he was tied and I shot him, and that is incorrect. We fought and I backed off. He had his hands out, and I shot him again. And again, these are only minor. It does not make any difference. It's probably irrelevant. I just want to set the record straight and that's all, sir. Vian, it was—the PowerPoint was perceived that I was strangling Shirley, I stopped to comfort the kids. That's just the opposite. She or I both put the kids back in the bathroom, comforted them there before we went in and what happened. So the toys and all that were put in there earlier. It's basically to clarify that on that. And this is really minor, although it makes you wonder whether the information is tainted or not, the evidence, or makes you speculate what law enforcement did do, although it looked like they did a good job, a hundred percent. The Dolores Davis graves, they put back and forth. If anybody knows anything about geology, structure, those trees and stuff were not at Lake Cheney. They were over in the eastern part of the United States. And those pictures that came in the mail were not—were not the other ones, they were all from the grave site at Cheney. Probably the most damaging to me was the pornography they displayed. Yes, they have pornography of what I drew. But I didn't see where they had a lot of pornography, but they brought two pictures out. Family will know I didn't own a camper. I had a pickup with a camper top, but I didn't have any shelves in that. So basically the evidence was totally tainted. They either picked up a picture from somewhere else or inserted it or didn't realize it. That may have been a relative, I'm not sure, but I would think if they had more pornography they would have showed it. That's basically the clarifications. The other thing is with the law enforcement, there seemed to be—I was portrayed as a dog catcher. I did go to HA law enforcement. I felt like I did have a rapport with the law enforcement people during the confession, as they probably said in the paper, I'd still probably be talking if the defense person didn't show up. We had a good rapport. I almost felt like they were my buddies. At one time I asked about LaMunyon maybe coming in and having a cup of coffee with me. So there was a rapport. I have always had a great respect for law enforcement, although I wore a black hat instead of a white hat. Thanks. I can't believe the people that have helped me on this. Starting with, I think you as a society have to—even though I am a criminal, I think you have to appreciate the police department. They have done a lot of work. Even though it took long time, they gathered evidence, they had that evidence. When they got the key suspect, they zeroed in on them very rapidly. So they have the dedication. Like Mr. Landwehr for all these years is great. So I think Sedgwick County really has a good police force. Defense. This has been a unique, probably a different type case than they've ever had. We've had our ups and downs, but also they've been good. It's just like a new learning curve. It's just a new curve. And the media has just been terrible. I worked with the media afterwards. It—I mean, it just—it's just tremendous. They've done very good. Sarah has probably been my—probably my work horse. I really appreciate her. She's done a lot of good work. Steve, he had to keep heads on all this. It was very hard, very hard for him. I want to go ahead, since I worked with defense very close, to give them a personal, make sure I go through the list here. I already mentioned Steve, Sarah McKinnon. Everybody knows Steve. Another one that helped me was Jama Mitchell. I think she's on a case today probably, is that correct, In El Dorado. Okay. Lea Ann Standrich, she was a social worker that did a lot of research for me earlier. I appreciate her helping that. Jenny Blaine, special investigator, and the Janie Chambers, she's the one that cut my hair, brought my clothes up. So I have—they were basically my family, so I appreciate that. On professional staff, although we have some questions with Robert J. Mendoza and what happened there, I think that in time will be solved, but I still have to give him credit for coming in and helping me and working with me. And I'm sure—I hope I pronounce that right, Paula K. Walters, she was the other doctor that came in and they were all from Cambridge Forensic Society or Consultants. So I really appreciate the defense. They've done a lot for me, kept me advised. Sedgwick County Detention Center. I was really scared when I first came in here, never been—I've never been arrested before. I really didn't know what to look—I was basically 4days, 42, 4days up there in isolation. First the officers, the patrol officers, they call them deputies there, pod deputies. They didn't know me, I didn't know them. But they finally opened up and they became human, and I think they realized I was human too. Eventually I moved over to pod 2, and that's very much camaraderie with what I call the dirty dozen or the peas in the pod. They were a bunch of great guys. Most of those guys are now—I have a lot of respect. I sat down with them, all have crimes, but there's—you basically build a camaraderie with those type people. The people who moved me around. I'm what they call—I call it hot pepper or habanera red. We have special movers. Again, I hope I pronounce these—from the detention area. I hope I pronounce these people's last names right. If I leave somebody out, I apologize for that. One I have is Robert Hinshaw, Captain Barbara Maxwell, Captain Gwen Kurtz, Lieutenant Larry Bratz, Sergeant, he's my main Sergeant, he's the one that's been very, very close with me, worked with me, David Millen, and I have a lot of respect for him. He's been my main Sergeant. On the judicial, I'll probably mess up this last name, but it's Daniel Bardezbain, and I messed that up. I'm sorry. Brad Hoch. There's many, many, many more beyond those. I would be here a long time, so I do appreciate all those people that helped. Pastor Clark. He has been my main man, come to see me every day—or not every day, excuse me, at least once a week, sometimes twice a week. If anybody I was dishonest to was that man right there, under the house of God created these things, these atrocious acts, and for him to—for him to stay with me and remain strong, well, he's a good man. I appreciate that. He also went with me early this week, went through confession, I sat down, went through each of the people I killed, confessed on that. And I felt the strengthening of some bonds there at that time with him. Family, the last victims. I don't even want to start with them. You know, there's—they're still supportive a little bit. My wife's gone on, divorced, she's trying to stay out of harm's way. Since my kids are away, I don't get much letters or anything from them, but they're basically supportive….Friends. Without friends a person, I don't think in this—what I've been here 75, 7days, you couldn't survive without friends, if you didn't have family to support you, you didn't have something or somebody come to you like Pastor Clark, you'd go down, just mentally you'd go down. So friends have been a very key part. People in the pod, pod deputies, Sergeant, although they can't have a real friendly relationship, they're friends. I got this out this morning, the other day when I was working out. This comes from the daily devotions, a Christian book. It's called Touched By a Stranger, which is an article, and at the bottom there's an article. It's by Hess. There isn't a first name for it, but is something like a friend would do. I would appreciate it. Like refreshing rain in summer, the gentle breeze in spring. Just a little gift of kindness, joy someone's heart can bring. With the media exposure my family basically had to almost just stay away, so I really didn't have any support. There was one people—one person that stepped up, Christina Casarona, that really helped, and I really appreciate her support. There's another one out on the west coast, Andrew Pershaw. He's another Christian and really supportive. I would have gone down a long time ago without their support, so I do want to mention their names. Christian Bible verse I found and I think helping me, will help me, leading me. This is John 8:2. I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness but have light of life. Now that I've confessed, put myself out to let everybody know what's going on, I expect to be healed and have life, and hopefully someday God will accept me. I think Sedgwick County, myself, we speak of a man as an evil man, a dark side is there, but now I think light is beginning to shine. So I appreciate the family and friends and all I can be thankful for. And I think that will keep me from finally going to the dark side early on. Finally, my final apologize to the victims' families. There's no way that I can ever repay them. That's all, sir.
25. I am 36 years old and have been a criminal all my life. I have 11 felony convictions against me. I have served 20 years of my life in jails, reform schools and prisons. I know why I am a criminal.
26. As before, Vian was a—actually on that one she was completely random. There was actually someone that across from Dillons was potential target. I had project numbers assigned to it. And that particular day I drove to Dillons, parked in the parking lot, watched this particular residence, and then got out of the car and walked over to it. It’s probably in the police report, the address. I don’t remember the address now. Knocked. Nobody—Nobody answered it. So I was all keyed up, so I just started going through the neighborhood. I had been through the neighborhood before. I know of knew a little—little of the layout of the neighborhood. I’d been through the back alleys, knew where some—certain people lived. While I was walking down Hydraulic I met—a young boy and asked him if he would ID some pictures, kind of as a russ [sic], I guess, or ruse as you call it, and kind of feel it out, and saw where he went, and I went to another address, knocked on the door. Nobody opened the door, so I just noticed where he went and went to that house and we went from there…. Potential hits. That—In my world, that’s what I called them….They were called projects, hits….After I tried this once, the residence, nobody came to the door. I went to this house where he went in, knocked on the door and told ‘em I was a private detective, showed ‘em a picture that I had just showed the boy and asked ‘em if they could ID the picture; and that time I—I had the gun here and I just kind of forced myself in. I just, you know, walked in—just opened the door and walked in and then pulled a pistol. … I told Mrs.—Miss Vian that I had a problem with sexual fantasies, that I was going to tie her up, and that—and I might have to tie the kids up, and that she would cooperate with this—cooperate with me at that time. We went back. She was extremely nervous. Think she even smoked a cigarette. And we went back to the—one of the back—back areas of the porch, explained to her that I had done this before, and, you know, I think she—at that point in time I think she was sick ‘cause she had a night robe on, and I think, if I remember right, she was—she had been sick. I think—I think she came out of the bedroom when I went in the house. So anyway, we went back to the—her bedroom, and I proceeded to tie the kids up, and they started crying and got real upset.…So I said oh, this is not gonna work, so we moved ‘em to the bathroom. She helped me. And then I tied the door shut. We put some toys and blankets and odds and ends in there for the kids, make them as comfortable as we could. Tied the—we tied one of the bathroom doors shut so they couldn’t open it, and we shoved—she went back and helped me shove the bed up against the other bathroom door, and then I proceeded to tie her up. She got sick, threw up. Got her a glass of water, comforted her a little bit, and then went ahead and tied her up and then put a blag [sic]—a bag over her head and strangled her.…Well, the kids were really banging on the door, hollering and screaming, and—and then the telephone rang, and they had talked earlier that the neighbor’s gonna check on ‘em, so I cleaned everything up real quick like, and got out of there, left and went back in—to my car.
27. Eric: Wow, looks like someone had fun last night. Lisa: The parts I remember were awesome. Eric: Do you remember just having dinner by yourself and going to bed? Lisa: I sat alone at a bar and read a book about serial killers. Eric: Wow, sexy.
28. My mother and I started right in on horrendous battles, just horrible battles, violent and vicious. I've never been in such a vicious verbal battle with anyone. It would go to fists with a man, but this was my mother and I couldn't stand the thought of my mother and I doing these things. She insisted on it, and just over stupid things. I remember one roof-raiser was over whether I should have my teeth cleaned.
29. My dad was raising children, yet he chose to take another mother away from her own children. He was about to have a daughter yet took two more daughters away from their families.
30. My mother was there. She was there to beat me, she was there to humiliate me, she was there to use me as an example of how inferior men are.
31. I always knew that it was wrong after the first killing.
32. I stayed with him for about a month, hoboing our way east, stealing and burning everything we could. I taught him how to set fire to a church after we robbed it. We got very busy on that, robbing and burning a church regular every chance we got.
33. Eventually I crossed that invisible line of no return. After years of mental torment, behavioral problems, deep inner struggles and my own rebellious ways, I became the criminal that, at the time, it seemed as if it was my destiny to become.
34. My parents could not reach me, not even with all of their love. Many times I saw them break down and cry because they saw that I was such a tormented person.
35. I first began to think that I was being unjustly imposed upon. Then I began to hate those who abused me. Then I began to think that I would have my revenge just as soon and as often as I could injure someone else. Anyone at all would do.
36. The bearded, bespectacled doctor murdered at least 26 patients, making him one of the world's most prolific killers. So, Steve, how's it looking out there today? It's about time we saw some of this warmer weather.
37. I cried, I begged and pleaded for mercy, pity, and sympathy, but nothing I could say or do could sway them from their purpose. I left that box a sadder, sicker, but wiser boy.
38. And guys in here go through tremendous struggles inwardly. A lot of them, you know, play the macho role and keep things inside. But I know a lot of guys who cry on their pillow at night.
39. The boy's name I didn't know. He told me he was eleven years old. He was carrying a basket or pail in his hand. He told me he was going to the store to do an errand. He told me his aunt ran this store. I asked him if he would like to earn fifty cents. He said yes.…I hit him on the back of the head with a 10 pound club. It didn't kill him but he was good and sick and he left me alone after that.
40. You will find that I have consistently followed one idea through all my life….I preyed upon the weak, the harmless and the unsuspecting.
41. It was an incessant and never-ending desire to be with someone at whatever cost. Someone good-looking, really nice-looking. It just filled my thoughts all day long.
42. Mass murderers are different from serial ones. Those around him thought of him as weird or strange.
43. The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
44. I had been having, for a couple of years before that, fantasies of meeting a good-looking hitchhiker and [dramatic pause] sexually enjoying him.
45. I grabbed him by the arm and told him I was going to kill him. I stayed with the boy about three hours. During that time, I committed sodomy on the boy six times, and then I killed him by beating his brains out with a rock... I had stuffed down his throat several sheets of paper out of a magazine. I left him lying there with his brains coming out of his ears.
46. Matt Damon: Just take it from 'It's a good course.' Ben Affleck: Oh, now you're the director. Matt Damon: Hey shove it, Bounce-boy. Let's remember who talked who into doing this shit in the first place. Talking me into Dogma was one thing, but this... Ben Affleck: Hey look, I'm sorry I dragged you away from whatever-gay-serial-killers-who-ride-horses-and-like-to-play-golf-touchy-feely-picture you're supposed to be doing this week. Matt Damon: I take it you haven't seen Forces of Nature? Ben Affleck: You're like a child. What've I been telling you? You gotta do the safe picture. Then you can do the art picture. But then sometimes you gotta do the payback picture because your friend says you owe him. [They both take a beat and look at the camera] And sometimes, you go back to the well. Matt Damon: And sometimes, you play Reindeer Games. Ben Affleck: See, that's just mean.
47. One of the best things people ever did is they know how to kill.
48. Two rules, man: Stay away from my fuckin' Percocets and do you have any fucking Percocets, man?
49. She was chosen. I went through the different phases, stalking phase, and since she lived down the street from me I could watch the coming and going quite easily. On that particular date I—I had a—a other [sic] commitment. I came back from that commitment. Parked my car over at Woodlawn and 21st. Street at a bowling alley there at the time. Before that I dressed into—I had some other clothes on. I changed clothes. I went to the bowling alley, went in there under the pretense of bowling, called a taxi. Had a taxi take me out to Park City. Had my kit with me. It was a bowling bag….There I asked—I—I pretended that I was a little drunk. I just took—I just took some beer and washed it around my mouth, and the guy could probably smell alcohol on me. I asked—told him to let me out so I could get some fresh air, and I walked from where the taxi let me off over to her house.…Well, as before, I was going to have sexual fantasies, so I brought my hit kit, and lo and behold, her car was there. I thought gee, she’s not supposed to be home. So I very carefully snuck into the house, she wasn’t there. So about that time the doors rattled, so I went—went back to one of the bedrooms and hid back there in one of the bedrooms. She came in with a male visitor. They were there for maybe an hour or so. Then he left. I waited till wee hours of the morning. I then proceeded to sneak into her bedroom and flip the lights on real quick like, or I think the bathroom lights. I just—I didn’t want to flip her lights on, and she screamed, and I jumped on the bed and strangled her manually.…After that, since I was in the sexual fantasy, I went ahead and stripped her and probably went ahead and—I’m not for sure if I tied her up at that point in time, but anyway, she was nude, and I put her on a blanket, went through her purse, some personal items in the house, figured out how I was gonna get her out of there. Eventually moved her to the trunk of the car. Took the car over to Christ Lutheran Church—this is with the older church—and took some pictures of her.
50. I don't understand what happened. It was a nightmare. I was tormented in my mind and in my spirit. My life was out of control at that time and I have nothing but regret for what I thought I was a soldier for the devil and all kinds of crazy things I had things like The Satanic Bible that I was reading. I just got stupid ideas out of it. I'm not pushing the blame on anything. I take full responsibility, but I just at the time things got twisted.
51. At first I picked up girls just to talk to them, just to try to get acquainted with people my own age and try to strike up a friendship.
52. Scully, I gave up profiling before I gave up monsters. You’ve seen one serial killer, you’ve seen ’em all.
53. I just—at this time I had made a pact with the Devil, I had allowed this satanic thing to control me, and I felt these paranormal powers.
54. Factor X is probably something I’ll never know. I actually think it may be possessed with demons. Uh, I was dropped on my head when I was a kid...
55. David Rossi: Why do people want to hear me talk about serial killers? Is it that entertaining? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: There's a public fascination with them.
56. I may not be so much to look at myself, but I have always gone after pretty girls.
57. Serial killers do on a small scale what governments do on a large one. They are a product of the times and these are bloodthirsty times. Even psychopaths have emotions if you dig deep enough, but then again maybe they don’t.
58. I choked her to death then cut her in small pieces so I could take my meat to my rooms, cook and eat it. How sweet and tender her little ass was roasted in the oven. It took me 9 days to eat her entire body.
59. oh, to walk among the new season, to heard a robin voice, to see a dandelion bright, to watch a butterfly flight, to smell a simple flower bud, oh spring these are the many reasons. Dennis L. Rader 4-16-2005
60. Everybody thought it was all right to deceive me, lie to me and kick me around whenever they felt like it, and they felt like it pretty regular.
61. Took the head, washed it off, put it on the bathroom floor, masturbated and all that, then put the head back down with the rest of the bags. Next morning we had a large buried drainage pipe, about ten feet long put the bags in there, smash the front of it down, and leave it there for about two and a half years.
62. I had many what I call them projects. They were different people in town that I followed, watched. Kathryn Bright was one of the next targets, I guess, as I would indicate….Just driving by one day, and I saw her go in the house with somebody else, and I thought that’s a possibility. There was many, many places in the area, College Hill even. They’re all over Wichita. But anyway, that’s—it just was basically a selection process, worked toward it. If it didn’t work I’d just move on to something else, but in the—in the—my kind of person, stalking and strolling [sic]—You go through the trolling stage and then a stalking stage. She was in the stalking stage when this happened….I broke into the house and waited for her to come home….She and Kevin Bright came in. I wasn’t expecting him to be there. And come to find out, I guess they were related. That time I approached them and told them I was wanted in California, needed some car—basically the same thing I told the Oteros. Kind of eased them, make them feel better, and proceeded to—I think I had him tie—I think I had him tie her up first, and then I tied him up, or vice versa. I don’t remember right now at that time… I moved her to another bedroom, and he as already secure there by the bed. Tied his feet to the bed post—one of the bedposts so that he couldn’t run. Kind of tired her in the other bedroom, and then I came back to strangle him, and at that time we had a fight.…Well, when I started strangling, the—either the garrote broke or he broke his bonds, and he jumped up real quick like. I pulled my gun and quickly shot him. It hit him in the head. He fell over. I could see the blood. And as far as I was concerned, he—you know, I thought he was down and was out, and then went and started to strangle Kath—or Kathryn. And then we started fighting, ‘cause the bonds weren’t very good, and so back and forth we fought. …Yeah, we fought, uh-huh. And I got the best of her, and I thought she was going down, and then I could hear some movement in the other room. So I went back, and Kevin—no. No. I thought she was going down, and I went back to the other bedroom where Kevin was at, and I tried to restrangle him at that time, and he jumped up, and we fought, and—and he about—at that time about shot me, ‘cause he got the other pistol that was in my should here. I had my magnum in my shoulder….And we fought at that point in time, and I thought it was gonna go off. I jammed the gun, stuck my finger in the—in there, jammed it; and I think he thought that was the only gun I had ‘cause once I either bit his finger or hit him or something, got away, and I used the .22 and shot him one more time, and I thought he was down for good that time. …Went back to finish the job on Kathryn, and she was fighting. And at that point in time I’d been fighting her. I just—And then I heard some—I don’t know whether I was lose—basically losing control. The strangulation wasn’t working on her, and I used a knife on her.…I stabbed her. She was stab—either stabbed two or three times, either here or here, maybe two back here and one here, or maybe just two times back here. …Actually I think at that point in time—well, it’s a total mess ‘cause I didn’t have control on it. She was bleeding. She went down. I think I just went back to check on Kevin, or at that basically same time I heard him escape. It could be one of the two. But all the sudden the front door of the house was open and he was gone, and—Oh, I tell you what I thought. I thought the police were coming at that time. I heard the door open. I thought, you know, that’s it; and I stepped out there, and he—I could see him running down the street. So I quickly cleaned up everything that I could and left.
63. I remember it was very exciting.….there was actually a sexual thrill.…It was kind of an exalted triumphant type thing, like taking the head of a deer or an elk or something would be to a hunter….I was the hunter and they were the victims.
64. To this day I don't know what started it [the murders]. The person to blame is sitting right across from you. It's the only person. Not parents, not society, not pornography. I mean, those are just excuses.
65. I've been all over the world and I've seen everything but hell and I guess I'll see that soon.
66. I find the newspaper not wirting about the poem on Vain unamusing. A little paragraph would have enought. I knom it not the news media fault. The Police Cheif he keep things quiet, and doesn't let the pubbic know there a psycho running around lose strangling mostly women, there 7 in the ground; who will be next? How many do I have to Kill before I get a name in the paper or some national attention. Do the cop think that all those deaths are not related? Golly-gee, yes the M.O. is different in each, but look a pattern is developing. The victims are tie-up- most have been women-phone cut- bring some bondage mater sadist tendencies-no struggle, outside the death spot-no wintness except the Vain's Kids. They were very lucky; a phone call save them. I was go-ng to tape the boys and put plastics bag over there head like I did Joseph, and Shirley. And then hang the girl. God-oh God what a beautiful sexual relief that would been. Josephine,when I hung her really turn me on; her pleading for mercy then the rope took whole, she helpless; staring at me with wide terror fill eyes the rope getting tighter-tighter. You don't understand these things because your not under the influence of factor X). The same thing that made Son of Sam, Jack the Ripper, Havery Glatman, Boston Strangler, Dr. H. H. Holmes Panty Hose Strangler OF Florida, Hillside Strangler, Ted of the West Coast and many more infamous character kill. Which seem s senseless, but we cannot help it. There is no help, no cure, except death or being caught and put away. It a terrible nightmarebut, you see I don't lose any sleep over it. After a thing like Fox I ccome home and go about life like anyone else. And I will be like that until the urge hit me again. It not continuous and I don;t have a lot of time. It take time to set a kill, one mistake and it all over. Since I about blew it on the phone-handwriting is out-letter guide is to long and typewriter can be traced too,.My short poem of death and maybe a drawing;later on real picture and maybe a tape of the sound will come your way. How will you know me. Before a murder or murders you will receive a copy of the initials B.T.K. , you keep that copy the original will show up some day on guess who? May you not be the unluck one! P.S. How about some name for me, its time: 7 down and many more to go. I like the following How about you? 'THE B.T.K. STRANGLER', WICHITA STRANGLER', 'POETIC STRANGLER', 'THE BOND AGE STRANGLER' OR PSYCHO' THE WICHITA HANGMAN THE WICHITA EXECUTIONER, 'THE GAROTE PHATHOM', 'THE ASPHIXIATER'. B.T.K
67. I came up behind her and crooked my arm around her neck, like this. I squeezed and just lifted her off the floor. She just hung there and, for a moment, I didn't realize she was dead….I had broken her neck and her head was just wobbling around with the bones of her neck disconnected in the skin sack of her neck.
68. The green color Pods at First were long and hollow. They had grown from Mother Earth, anti-society, into a wild vine. The vine with Pods, long and curling upward, had many follows; How each Pod has a unique Pea, that together walks a fine line. D.L.R., 4-19-05, Day 54
69. The house I grew up in had deadbolts, which were always kept locked. No matter the time of day.
70. Nobody remembers the victims, everybody remembers the killer. And that's exactly what happens when an agent puts the story ahead of the case.
71. A little nigger boy about 11 or 12 years old came bumming around….I left him there, but first I committed sodomy on him and then I killed him….His brains were coming out of his ears when I left him and he will never be any deader.
72. I just felt I had no mind. I just felt something else was controlling, controlling me...
73. By now you know what I liked most was the hunt, the challenge of what the thing was. The killing for me was secondary. I got no rise as such out of it…for the most part. But the figuring it out, the challenge—the stalking and doing it right, successfully—that excited me a lot. The greater the odds against me, the more juice I got out of it.
74. Those three dudes you have in custody are just talking to get publicity. They know nothing at all. I did it by myself and with no oneshelp.…I’m sorry this happen to the society...It hard to control myself. You probably call me ‘psychotic with sexual perversion hang-up’. Where this monster enter my brain I will never know. But, it here to stay. How does one cure himself? If you ask for help, that you have killed four people, they will laugh or hit the panic button and call the cops. I can’t stop it so, the monster goes on, and hurt me as wall as society. Society can be thankfull that there are ways for people like me to relieve myself at time by day dreams of some victim being tortore and being mine. It a big complicated game my friend of the monster play putting victims number down, follow them, checking up on them waiting in the dark, waiting, waiting...the pressure is great and somt-times he run the game to his liking. Maybe you can stop him. I can’t. He has already chosen his next victim or victims. I don’t know who they are yet. The next day after I read the paper, I will Know, but it to late. Good luck hunting. YOURS, TRULY, GUILTILY. PS: Since sex criminals do not change their MO or by nature cannot do so, I will not change mine. The code words for me will be...bind them, torture them, kill them, BTK, you see he at it again. They will be on the next victim.
75. Impersonal killers are like drug addicts. The first time gives them the ultimate high, and after that, no high is as good. Unfortunately, the addict doesn't know that. He will chase that high to the gates of insanity and death. By now, killing is all our unsub thinks about. He's set up the exact same situation again and again, hoping to get the same result. He begins to think he's doing it wrong. He becomes obsessed with improving his skills, honing his M.O. And tailoring his weapon to his deadly purpose. He figures if he gets them all just right, if he can get his technique and his tools perfected, he'll feel that first high again. He's becoming a more lethal addict. And he'll never accept that the high is gone and it won't come back. He'll never stop. Never.
76. Your boyfriend is a normal guy. He just happens to have the same name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New York.
77. That one mother who goes on television all the time, who thinks I should be given 33 injections, I think she ought to take 33 Valiums and go lay down…. If her Marine son was so great, then what the hell did he run away from home all the time?
78. Sometimes, afterward, I visited there...to be near her...because I loved her and wanted her.
79. It was a man and he was begging, and pleading, and praying, I guess. And he was ‘Please, God’n all over the place. So I told him he could have a half an hour to pray to God and if God could come down and change the circumstances, he'd have that time. But God never showed up and he never changed the circumstances and that was that. It wasn't too nice. That's one thing, I shouldn't have done that one. I shouldn't have done it that way.
80. I appreciate the concern, but when your father kills 25 women before you're a teenager, painful memories don't need a trigger. They just are.
Next : 11 Glacier Quotes